A co-worker asks if you could help them Friday evening in prepping for their garage sale the following morning.

She’s been asking/(nagging) you for weeks.

Really, you’ve got a million things on your own to-do list you wanted to get done, like scrubbing that pan that’s been soaking in your sink that you burned kale in last week and finally giving Max, your pup, a good brushing– plus you could think of a lot better things to do on your rare Friday off than going through someone else’s junk.

Oops, did you think that out loud?

But when the final moment comes:

“So, think you can help me Friday?”

You bow your head and suck in a deep breath.

“Suuuure,” you reply regretfully.

See, you didn’t have to say yes, you didn’t want to say yes, but you did anyway. For some reason you felt obligated to.

But I’m here to tell you: you’re not obligated!

Giving your friend an honest heads up ASAP if you’re really wanting to say “no” is a win-win for both.

“Hey, I’m not going to be able to help you Friday because I’ve got x & x going on, sorry maybe next time.” Or even, “I’d love to help, but I’ve got a lot of things I’ve got to take care of at home too and Friday’s my only time off. Do you have anyone else that could help you?”

Your friend will appreciate your honesty, and it will give her enough time to find someone else who might really be into the project. And you will not be consumed with resentment– which can strain or ultimately even break any relationship.

Ok, so this story is totally made up, but it does illustrate a point.

You said yes to your co-worker when you really wanted to say NO.

But listen, it’s GOOD to say no sometimes. It’s necessary.

Trust me, when you finally work up the balls to just say NO, don’t be surprised if you feel a wave of jubilant liberation sweep through your body.

You’re free!

You don’t have to do a damn thing you don’t want to!

YOU are the master of your time and the creator of your reality.

I personally used to fall victim to overextending myself often by reluctantly saying “yes” to things I didn’t really want to. I felt like I was being rude if I said no. Or if I actually did work up the gumption to say no, it was usually accompanied by a slight feeling of guilt.

I’m happy to say that I’ve come a long way in mastering the art of saying no. I’m much more selective & conscious about what I say yes to, because time is precious and if I said yes to everything everyone asked me, there’d be no time to do what *I* truly want to do– what is necessary for my own happiness and well-being.

You’ve heard it before: if you don’t take care of YOU first, you won’t be able to help anyone else.

And I must say, every time I say “no” to something I truly want to say no to, I feel a little bit of triumph inside. There I am, standing up for myself, knowing that I am making the best decision for ME, in that moment.

Now I’m not saying to never say yes. Of course not. If you want to help your friend organize for their garage sale, by all means, say yes & help your friend!

The point is to only say yes to what you want to, to what your whole being can say YES to. Because saying “yes” when you really want to be saying “no” will only weigh you down and ultimately make you a not so happy person. But if you’re honest with yourself and those around you, things are bound to be good.

I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment and tell me: Do you ever find yourself saying “yes” when you really want to be saying “no”? How often? What will you do to change that?